THE MEN’S LEADERSHIP ACADEMY
You Know You’re Capable of More.
You’re responsible. You work hard. People rely on you.
And yet there may be places in your life where you know you’re capable of showing up differently—more present, more honest, more accountable and more fully alive.
The Men’s Leadership Academy is a place to examine the way you are being, because the way you are being shapes what you see, what you choose and what you create.
This is not about becoming someone else.
It is about becoming more available to the man you are capable of being.
DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
You know the conversation you should have—but you don’t have it.
You recognize the reaction only after you’ve reacted.
You make commitments and sometimes find yourself explaining why they didn’t happen.
You succeed in one area of your life while knowing you’ve been avoiding another.
You know what you should do.
And still—you don’t.
Perhaps the question isn’t simply:
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Perhaps there’s another question worth asking:
WHO AM I BEING?
That question is at the heart of our work.
LEADERSHIP IS MORE THAN WHAT YOU DO.
Most approaches to leadership focus on skills, strategies and behaviors.
TMLA begins somewhere else—
with the person doing them
Our work explores how the assumptions you carry, the stories you tell yourself, the commitments you make, and the automatic ways you react shape what you see—and therefore what becomes possible.
We call this an ontological approach to leadership.
The word may be unfamiliar.
The experience won’t be.
It is the difference between knowing what you should do and discovering what actually has you do—or not do—it.
Between reacting automatically and having a choice.
Between managing circumstances and becoming responsible for who you are in the face of them.
LEAD FROM PRESENCE, NOT REACTION.
THERE ISN’T JUST ONE WAY INTO THE WORK.
Men come to TMLA at different moments in their lives.
Some are curious.
Some are confronting a challenge.
Some have accomplished much and are asking, “What now?”
Others simply recognize that the way they have been doing life may no longer be sufficient for the life they want to create.
Wherever you begin, there is a way into the conversation.
EXPERIENCE THE WORK
MEN FORWARD ROOM
A recurring conversation where men bring what is actually happening in their lives and explore what may be underneath it.
No lectures. No performance. No need to have the answers.
Come experience the work.
BEGIN THE WORK
THE LEADERSHIP COURSE
The foundational TMLA experience.
The Leadership Course is an inquiry into integrity, authenticity, responsibility, commitment, identity, choice and what it means to become the source of your life.
It is not simply leadership education.
It is an opportunity to discover the ways of being that shape how you lead—in your work, your relationships, your family and your life.
DEEPEN THE WORK
THE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM
For men ready to take the work further.
The Mentorship Program moves the distinctions of leadership from something you understand toward something you live—through practice, accountability, contribution and the development of others.
FOCUS THE WORK
SMALL-GROUP CLASSES
Some questions deserve a room of their own.
Our small-group classes create focused conversations around particular dimensions of being human—relationships, communication, identity, transition, purpose, faith, mortality and other matters that shape a man’s life.
MAKE IT PERSONAL
COACHING WITH STU
Sometimes the most useful conversation is one devoted entirely to you.
Individual coaching brings the TMLA approach to the particular circumstances, commitments, challenges and possibilities of your life.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS HERE?
We talk.
But differently.
You bring something that is happening in your life.
Someone asks a question you weren’t expecting.
You begin noticing the story underneath the story.
Another man sees something you have been unable to see yourself.
You hear yourself explaining why something happened—and suddenly recognize something in the explanation.
A reaction that once seemed inevitable becomes visible.
A choice appears where you hadn’t seen one before.
You make a commitment.
The room remembers it.
And you begin discovering that transformation doesn’t necessarily begin by changing your circumstances.
Sometimes it begins by changing who you are in the face of them.
BECOMING THE SOURCE
We cannot control much of what happens in life.
Other people.
The past.
The economy.
A diagnosis.
A disappointment.
An unexpected opportunity.
What we can examine is who we are being in relationship to what happens.
There is an enormous difference between living as though circumstances determine what is possible and discovering that you can choose who you will be in the face of those circumstances.
We call that becoming the source.
It doesn’t mean blaming yourself for what happens.
It means becoming responsible for what happens next.
CIRCUMSTANCE → REACTION
or
CIRCUMSTANCE → CHOICE → ACTION
That space called choice is where leadership begins.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN MEN DO THIS WORK TOGETHER?
Something becomes possible in the presence of other men that is difficult to create alone.
They listen.
They challenge.
They reflect.
They hold one another accountable.
They recognize patterns because they have patterns of their own.
And sometimes another man can see the thing you cannot see precisely because he isn’t standing inside your story.
At TMLA, the men in the room aren’t there to fix you.
They’re there to participate with you in discovering what might be possible.
HEAR IT FROM THE MEN
What changes when men engage in this work is best described by the men themselves.
“I’d been telling myself a story about who I was. For a long time. This work interrupted it. Not dramatically — just persistently.”
— David, senior executive
“I stopped performing strength.”
— Michael, business owner
“I became more responsible without becoming harder on myself.”
— Jonathan, attorney
WHAT IT ISN’T
It isn’t therapy.
It isn’t group counseling.
It isn’t motivational speaking.
It isn’t business networking.
And it isn’t a forum for blaming women, society, our parents or our circumstances for the lives we have.
TMLA is educational and experiential.
It is grounded in conversation, inquiry, responsibility, commitment and practice.
It can be challenging.
It can be uncomfortable.
And it can also be funny, moving, surprising and deeply human.
THIS IS MEN’S WORK. BUT PERHAPS NOT THE KIND YOU’RE EXPECTING.
We are interested in a different question:
GIVEN WHAT IS SO, WHO WILL YOU BE?
A NOTE FROM STU
I have spent much of my adult life interested in what allows human beings to see themselves differently—and what becomes possible when they do.
TMLA grew from that inquiry.
I don’t believe men need another person telling them how to live their lives. Most of us have had plenty of advice.
What is far more interesting to me is creating conversations in which a man can discover for himself what has been shaping his choices, what he is committed to, and what may now be possible that wasn’t visible before.
That is the work we do here.
If something on this page has spoken to you, I’d be pleased to meet you.
— Stu Faigen
YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.
You don’t need to understand ontology.
You don’t need to decide whether The Leadership Course, Men Forward Room, coaching or another TMLA offering is right for you.
And you certainly don’t need to enroll in anything.
Start with a conversation.
Tell me a little about what is happening in your life, what has you curious, or what you would like to create.
We’ll talk for 30 minutes.
If there is something at TMLA that could contribute, we can explore it.
If there isn’t, that’s fine too.
30-minute Zoom conversation. No obligation.